Monday, March 10, 2008

Baby Showers and Such!!!

Yesterday was such a beautiful day! My 2 favorite people, Missy and Michelle, threw me the most amazing baby shower! It was filled wtih delectable food, fun games, and great company!! Those 2 girls really did an amazing job with EVERYTHING! It was truly a special day! Not to mention, it was about 65 degrees, so everything was just perfect!


On another note my Houdini cat has done it again! After the last fiasco, hubs and I decided to put bird netting all over the yard, so he couldn't jump out. This worked for quite sometime, until yesterday, when we went outside and realized he must have tried to jump through, failed, and knocked some of it loose, only to try again and succeed. Now, keep in mind the cat is de-clawed, and he has a belled collar, but he has brought me multiple bird or grasshopper presents, so I don't think it has slowed him down. Normally, we walk outside and he is meowing in the neighbors yard, for us to rescue him.

However, yesterday, he was no where to be found, and last night a kind neighbor dropped by his leash. Apparently, their dog sniffed it out and they wanted to return it.

We have not heard or seen from out little guy since Sat night, and I am getting increasingly worried. I understand cats get lost and if he is gone for good I will have to get over him but I am just a little heartbroken. If you would keep Sammy in your prayers for a safe return, I would appreciate it!!


And finally, I need some advice...

When I got married, back in 2004, I had an entirely different set of friends. I didn't have too many close girlfriends... actually, I only had one. So at my wedding my maid of honor was that friend, and my sister in law was the other bridesmaid.

Anyway, over the years, me and my MOH (maid of honor) have drifted apart, but always tried to remain as close as we can be. You see, she keeps a different schedule. She is a waitress at a very busy wine bar, downtown, and I live in the burbs, with a husband and I have a corporate job. Not to mention I am very pregnant.

So, when I was making the baby shower list, she was, naturally, the first person I invited. I was excited to finally see her and spend some time with her. However, about a week before the event, my friend said there was no RSVP from her. I got worried. I know she would have to request it off, so I texted her to make sure she was coming. She said she never got the invitation, which made me feel horrible, and I told her the details and she said "Of COURSE, I will be there, its your baby shower for gosh sake!" I was so happy that was all clear, I told my friend and waited for the day.

Well, yesterday, while at the shower, I get a text saying her phone did not spring forward automatically, which to be honest, I had a hard time believing, but went on with the day as if it was no big deal. You see, she is always late, or has car trouble or something happens. She is just kind of one of those friends that it comes with the territory, not the most reliable if you know what I mean. There have been numerous occasions where I will be sitting at the restaurant and she will text me saying she just left, sorry. And, after years of knowing her, I have tried to put it behind me to the best of my ability. Now don't get me wrong, I used to bitch and bitch about it, until I realized it solved nothing. So... as time went on, as I got older, I just let it go. And yesterday, I did the same. She was going to be late, no worries, I just let it go.

So, the party goes on, the games are played, the cake is eaten and the presents are opened. No sign on her. I looked around and I got a melancholy feeling. I mean, she was my MOH, I thought she would at least be here for this. As I am getting in the car, I see I have another text: It said got into a car wreck, headed to xyz hospital, sorry, call you later. So now, I start to worry... is that REALLY what happened, OMG I feel horrible. So I call. No answer, which is as to be expected if your in the hospital. SO I get home, call the xyz hospital and ask for the ER. They tell me no one has been there with that name and no one is here now with that name. Truthfully, my heart sinks. I don't know what to believe. Did she just not come? (I mean it wouldn't be the first time she flaked out on a party or something important) or did she really get hurt? So... I call her phone again. No answer.

Then, about 20 min later I get another TEXT saying I should wear my seatbelt and something to that effect and call you tomorrow. I have a bruised rib but really it was more mental than physical. Which, at this point, I don't know how to respond? Why was she still texting me? I mean if your in the hosptial, I would at least like a call. So I text her back, get well and call me tomorrow.

There are 2 problems I have with this:

A. Everytime there is an event or a party or something we have planned, she has car trouble. A flat tire, its in the shop, or whatever. (Plus, she doesn't have a junk car, she has a nice, new car!)

B. If she really made it up that she was going to the hospital, and made me worry even worse than before, that would be horrible. Plus, why would you only text? I called twice... don't I at least deserve to know if you are ok? To me, my gut told me it was a person TEXTING in sick to work. I just didn't have a good feeling about it.

So... I don't know what to do if she calls. Should I tell her my concern about her not showing up? Should I ask her what happened? What should I do? I feel like this was a really big event to miss, and I understand if your going to be late, but this kind of feels like the last straw... you know? What would you do if it was your friend?


Sarah said...

I think you should confront MOH, if she can't make it that is one thing but she should not be making up such drastic lies. She should think of the way it makes you feel to receive a text that says she is on her way to the hospital (if it isn't true) I think you need to confront her. I am glad the rest of the day went well though!! when are you due?

Andrea said...

Sarah: I am due in 4 weeks! Thanks for the advice too! I think I have to confront her at this point.

Michelle & the City said...

one of my good friends is going thru a eerily similar situation. her MOH has told odd stories about why she has not returned calls, etc. recently it was that she had a miscarriage which was later determined she made up. why don't people just tell the truth?

Ashley D said...

I'm glad that your shower went well and you had fun with your friends.

As far as the MOH, I think you should try to talk to her about it. I would just be honest and say you tried to call her at the hospital and they said she wasn't there, so you're wondering what really happened. I hate situations like these because I'm horrible at confronting people. But I think if you want to make the friendship work, it would be best to talk to her about it.

Anonymous said...


It's Amy Donovan. Your Mom sent me to your blog. First I have ever been to.

I have been married 27 years. My MOH and I got into a disagreement over my life being better than hers. She either ignored me or spent time tearing my life apart. What I didn't understand is that she was hurting. 26 years later I know nothing about her. This was my best friend for over 10 years and now I know nothing of her life. 26 years later the significant issues seems so insignificant. Friends take time and understanding. Your mother and I have been friends for 28 years, we have had a couple of difficult times and been through a lot together (like babysitting you (-:) no disagreement would have ever been worth not knowing her, you, your brother or your Dad. Give thought to the fact that your life seems to have it all right now, sometimes that is difficult to participate in. Try a simple lunch where you go to her instead of asking her to come to you. Don't talk about problems or how great or bad things are just be a friend. See what happens. It may work or not - life is totally unpredictable but at least you know you did everything you could to keep it together. You Mom might remember when this happen as she was my friend that helped me get throught it. Best,

Julie Q said...

aw man, no Mom-to-be should have to worry about that on her shower day!! Its a tough call, its definitely worth saying something like "I called the hospital b/c I was so worried about you, they didn't say you were there"

OR, I would just take it and realize that maybe she's just like that and you shouldn't spend too much time fussing over it (now if only I can take my own advice!!)

Well you looked gorgeous anyways at your shower!! :) :)

elysa said...

first - your shower was quite fun and that picture of my mom wrapping the streamer around your belly is funny.

I'm all for truth with Miss MOH. You've never been the type to hold back and I certainly don't think it's out of place to ask for the truth of what's really going on. It's not fair that on your special day you have to continually be reminded that she isn't around.

Tina Vaziri said...

That sounds really crappy, I'm sorry she's putting you through this instead of telling you whats up. On one hand you can confront her, but if it's going to put more stress on you to deal with her right now, I would ignore her for a little while.

Katelin said...

Aw your shower pics are so cute! Glad you had such a fun time!

As for the MOH stitch, I think everyone else has basically already posted my idea. Confront her and tell her how you feel.

Anonymous said...

Ugh, what a crappy situation to put you in! It sounds like your MOH is totally lying, and I think you should confront her but in a non-confrontational way, just saying something like what ashley d said, saying you were worried so called the hospital and they said no one under that name had been in that day, and see how she reacts. It's pretty obvious when someone is lying to your face, so maybe decide what you would say/do if she is blatantly lying.

Personally I think if she does continue to lie to you, she isn't worth being a real friend with. Assuming she was lying, she came up with a horrible excuse that made you worried on YOUR baby shower, which is really bad. If she was unable to make it she should have said something earlier instead of lying about wanting to be there and then lying again when she didn't show up. That's just rude, and completely inconsiderate.

Anyway, your shower looked so cute! Your belly is ready to burst! heehee

Tell us what happens with your MOH! And, I hope your cat comes back soon. Poor you!

Anonymous said...

First of all- you look absolutely gorgeous! You're one of those pregnant ladies that I envy. I'm afraid I will blow up!

Secondly, I am sorry you're going through this with your girlfriend. This is my advice. If you are really that close, you will have no problem talking about this and getting it resolved. If you're nervous about the confrontation, let it go, accept her for the flaky person that she is, and move on. If you do confront her however, I say that you don't build it up and preface it with a "can i talk to you about something?" just talk to her like nothing's wrong and you're having a daily conversation. If you don't, she'll immediately be on the defense. Also, even though you're hurt and i think you should tell her- don't make it all about you. Ask what's going on with her...why she feels like she can't tell you the truth- tell her you love her. The more comfortable she feels and the more unconditionally accepted she feels, the more likely it is for her to open up.

Good Luck! :)