Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Gray and White

Generally speaking there are 2 kinds of people, there are the "gray" kind that take from your personal bucket, and then there are the "white" kind that fill your bucket!

The "gray" kind are those people that after you hang out with them, you feel drained, worried (for them) and burdened by most of their problems.

The "white" people, on the other hand, are those that feed you with positivity, fill your bucket without being asked and when you leave their company, you are so much happier than when you got there!

In my life, I have tried to only associate with "white" people. *Wow that sounds bad ;-) But truthfully, I have made a conscious effort to surround myself with people that fill my bucket as opposed to draining it! When I was 19 I actually did an exercise where I wrote every person I knew, at that time, on a sheet of paper. It didn't matter how I knew them, how long I had known them, or what our relationship was. I just put every and all names on that sheet of paper. Then, I read each name out loud, and I payed very close attention to the emotion that was associated with that name. If I felt a smile start to peek through my lips, I would leave their name alone. But, if I found I felt guilt, remorse, hate or some weird gut feeling, I took a black sharpie and drew one line through it. When I was done, I realized, who the "white" people in my life were, and who the "gray" people were.

One by one, I got rid of all the gray! I eliminated friends by not calling, not answering calls and just being by myself, if that is what it took! I also started studying Feng Shui (which, if you don't know, is a way to let the universe bring you positive energy, and not have it work against you. That is a whole other post on its own though!) and I really started focusing my life towards the positive. This is also the same time I met my husband (coincidence... I THINK NOT!)

So, over time, I have become VERY conscious of the "white" and "gray" people that are around. I can spot a gray a mile away! I cringe when I think of it and in my older age, I am not tempted by their devilish promises or their evil appeal. I just walk away before I get sucked in. With that said, I feel like, right now, I have made my list of close friends and confidants all "white" and it feels absolutely amazing!


These 2 girls above, my best friends, and their perspective children, truly fill my bucket every single time I see them! I just cannot say how wonderful they are to me! I learned from Eat, Pray, Love that you should not only pray in crisis, but pray to say thanks for all the wonderful blessings in your life.

Yesterday, my girls came over to check out the nursery, give me some advice on what to take back and what to keep, and generally just be around each other! It was so wonderful! I have never had friends, that treat me with such respect, with such love, and to know that I have people that fill my bucket daily, is just such a blessing!

So, after going into pre-term labor, yet again, and being admitted into the hospital, yet again. Those 2 girls didn't miss a beat. They always call, they always care and they always show how much they love me, and for that girls. I say THANKS!

Love ya too!

I give you a challenge, to write down all people you associate with, whether it be a boss, a friend a lover or an ex. See what emotion they give to you? See if they are gray or white? I am telling you... it will change your world :)

Have a brilliant Tuesday! I am headed back to sleep!


Sarah said...

That is a really good idea, I can't wait to try it. Sleep tight!

Tina Vaziri said...

I totally understand about the gray people. I have eliminated a lot of them from my life over the years, and I couldn't be happier.

Michelle & the City said...

very enlightening, seriously. i never thought to look at relationships like that. based on the guidelines though there are probably several people i should stop associating with!

missy said...

I love you little mama! I think you are an amazing friend, too, and I can't imagine my life without you in it! Thank you for coming to the fiesta and for the scrumdidlyumptious apple pie (that is now completely gone...crumbs and all!)
I think we should ban the yummy chx salads...they cause us both mucho problemos!
P.S. Tell Mr. Brady to hang tight for at least 3 more weeks!:)

Katelin said...

What an interesting idea, I like this a lot.

Anonymous said...

Fantasitc post! I'm going to do it now. :) I love activities.

I have a feeling I'm going to have more than a few "greys" that need to stop f-ing with my bucket.

Anonymous said...

What an interesting idea. Most of my friends are "white" though - I've cut out most of my grays. the only one that concerns me now is the bf - what if the high highs are whites, and the low lows are greys? What if you (ok, me) hope that the gray is just a phase?

That, i think, is where it gets slightly more complicated, but I'm going to try and do my best to be as clear as possible...

elysa said...

I have pretty much fired all my negative people over the last few years. It is quite freeing. I'm glad to know you are home safely.

Michelle said...

You mean so much to me too and I am so happy you are in our lives! I can't wait for all of the kiddos to grow up together. How fun is that! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
P.S. Tell Brady to chill out! No more scares and tell him the grass isn't always greener on the other side! HA!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your comment and the advice in this post! It's definitely something to consider doing!