Friday, March 7, 2008


There are times in your life when the wounds inside you let you know they are still with you. Now matter how much healing you have done over the years, they are there.
How they get there, sometimes we don't know, and sometimes we inflict them on ourselves.
I have lots ot wounds. But with time, most of them have healed. The scars have come and gone and now only a faints white line occurs on my soul.

Unfortuntely, when those wounds are scratched, they still burn and sting.

Yesterday, was a tough day emotionally. Maybe its the pregnancy, maybe its the stress of being 1 month away from bringing a child into this world... maybe it is just me?

It is hard to be hurt and not have any want or know-how to fix it. It is hard to be in a house with someone you love so much, yet feel so much pain from.

It was silence most of the day, yesterday. Silence so deafening you could hear the screaming words of the previous hour. Silence so loud you could feel the frusteration, hurt, and pain as we were both in the room.

And then there was sleep. Sleep that came from mental and physical exhaustion. As the room went black, the silent tears lept to my pillow.

Today, there are puffy red eyes and a heavyness in my heart. I am sure the wounds are beginning to heal, yet again, but why they were ever scratched in the first place... I do not know?

Hope today is a better day for me... and here is to a happy (baby shower filled) weekend!


Michelle & the City said...

i had an emotional day yesterday too. it's hard not to get that way after a fight.

i hope you're feeling a little better today!

Uncommon Blonde said...

I'm here by clicking through sensibly sassy's comments. I can so relate to this post. Had an arguement with my hubby last night that still stings a bit. Even after the apologies the words tend to linger ... hope today is better for you!

Sarah said...

Fights are so hard because even after reconcilliation is established the words still hurt. I hope you have a better day.

Ashley D said...

I hope your heart feels better today.

Nanette said...

Sending you hugs from Cali, my dear.

Katelin said...

Hope you are feeling so much better and enjoy the shower this weekend!

rachel elizabeth said...

god, fights suck. i hope you're alright girl... i really do. you know as well as i do that all relationships have their ups and downs... and you also know how wonderful your hubs is, even if sometimes he's a jerk. :o)

hang in there girl, you're shower is this weekend and before you know it you'll be holding little brady in your arms!

you know how to get me if you need to talk (or just vent...)


Anonymous said...

Oh, hun. I'm so sorry you're feeliing poopy. I think major changes in life induce stress. Sometimes something so joyous as bringing a new life into the world subconsciously makes your nervous and more susceptible to be edgy and angry and sometimes you don't even know why.
Lift some of that heaviness off of your heart and go get a mani/pedi. Treat yourself.
You will have a fantastic weekend!


Larissa said...

Glad to hear things are a little brighter today. Have a wonderful, fantastic baby shower weekend!

Rachel said...

today is your day! just wanted to let you know that i was thinking of you today! i hope you are having the best time ever with your bffs!!!