Saturday, November 3, 2007

A Man's Libido?

Here is the thing... I am 3, almost 4 months pregnant. I am getting fatter by the day, my hormones are on a daily roller coaster, not to mention I am getting bizarre acne and my hair is going semi-straight. Besides the leg cramps and vomiting on a daily basis. I am not feeling too hot and sexy. I mean, can you blame me?

Well, apparently some aunt gave my lovely hubby an expectant father book that says, this is the honeymoon stage?? of the pregnancy. And, apparently I should be horny every day of the week. The reality is I am 50% Carrie and 50% Charlotte, so the sex life of Samantha really doesn't come into play. I mean, I have never woken up in the morning saying damn, I wish I could have some sex today? I am not joking either... my friends used to tease me about it. I have a big bubble of personal space and I am not too keen on it being popped. Even by my adoring, loving, sexually charged hubby.

So yesterday we got in this tiff because I never want it and he always wants it. So my question to all you fabulous women is does it ever stop? Does the libido ever die?? Or have I just not hit my sexual peak?? My husband acts like an 18 year old, most days. If he could get it on the hour, ever hour, he may be satisfied. Me, I'm more like your average person, listen... I got Sh*t to do!! I don't need to be hassled every stinkin day that, yes, my boobs are huge, and yes I am apparently attractive to my husband. Trust me, I love him for the compliments, I just don't want to be harrassed every day. So far, it is like once a week. In my book, that is a great amount, in his. It could always be more!

What should I do? Should I give in and let him enjoy it every day? Or am I right to stand my ground and say, back off tonto, I have three more days of feeling frumpy?


kate said...

Hi there, visiting through NaBloPoMo's Randomiser. Been through the preggers thing three times, hopefully the all day sickness will subside soon! As far as the horniness during pregnancy, every pregnancy is different. It took the third time for the horny goddess in me to come out to play. The only thing that isn't different is the AMAZING orgasms that can only be achieved during pregnancy. Seriously. Amazing. Give it a go!

sha said...

I hear that between 30 and 35 the femali libido increases dramatically as well as the intensity of the orgasms. My older friends give me hope. :)

Valley Girl said...

Men are just crazy that ex-husband is just like your husband.

I've heard the same thing about pregnant women, too, but everyone is different.

I wouldn't give into his every whim--you have to consider your needs, too. Sex is best when both people involved are 100% into it. Perhaps a compromise?

Andrea said...

Kate: Thanks! I may have to give it a go, just for the orgasm ;-)
Sha: Thanks for the comment... looks like I am in the normal range! Thank goodness!
VG:Men are crazy, I'll give you that! And you are right, if both people want it, then I say do it!

Lorelei said...

I'm 39 and over the past four years or so have felt a sexual peak coming on. Bring on 40! Woohoo!

As far as feeling like getting lucky when I was pregnant... I'd say yeah I felt pretty good, but he was too afraid of hurting something. Ah well.

kri said...

Haha. The best thing about my pregnancy is the fact that it has played out through a long distance relationship. Sex, pregnancy, and I do not mix. The Boyfriend has an insatiable libido and I can not deal with that and the (what feels like) ten billion pounds of weight gain and roller coaster emotions.

I have heard that for most people the second trimester brings a huge rise in your libido, so maybe yours is only a week off!

Good luck with the US :) The anatomy scan is such an exciting time!!!

Valley Girl said...

To echo what Lorelei said, I find sex to get better with each year that passes. You know your body more, and are more in tune with what you want and what you want from your partner. Maybe there's one in store for you!

allbilly said...

I'm 35 with two sons, a fabulous girlfriend and an ex-wife who had very different sexual needs than I.

It is very important for a couple to communicate and reach a place where both can be satisfied and comfortable. The concept of "giving-in" simply isn't healthy. Neither is having a husband whose needs aren't met. Compromise is King.

A crying child in the middle of the night and the tiredness that is new parenthood will only magnify your issues. I'd say start working on this NOW!

-good luck

Maya said...

Visiting/scrolling through your archives (via 20-something bloggers) and would like to say as a 27 year old female who is (apparently) in the minority: It SUCKS to have a man's libido. Trust me, I know of what I speak (wink!) I actually hope that 'dirty thirty' isn't a reality for me.

But I have heard a *lot* of my friends with kids say that sex was awesome in the 2nd/early 3rd trimesters - but that they really had to make themselves get into it at first. Give it a whirl -what could it hurt, right?