Amazing Horoscopes?

So I was totally bored yesterday and started researching Brady's horoscope. Not too sure how much of this I believe but you can't say it isn't fun :)

So if he is born right on time he will be a Taurus:
Parents of a Taurus tot are going to have to be very aware of this baby's need to be touched. Loving caresses and a tender touch are what the Taurus baby lives for! Along those lines, this is a child who needs to be comfortable. Things to keep in mind are providing a room and bed that are neither too hot nor too cold, food that is tasty (a budding gourmand has arrived!), soothing sounds, and whimsical toys. As Taurus rules the Second House, the House of Possessions, this baby's playthings will be very important. When it comes to the learning curve, the Taurus baby is not in a hurry to grasp new concepts. This tot will learn things at their own pace and be unresponsive to pressure, yet persevering in the end. In light of this, a gentle manner to get this baby to react and respond is the sensible course of action. Also familial in nature, the Taurus baby will enjoy having the family in close proximity, especially siblings. You can consider this baby a people person in general, as they are also likely to control the play circle where that well-known Taurean stubbornness will reveal itself! To sum up, the Taurus baby wants to be touched, will revel in delicious toys, and as an Earth Sign, will want to have both feet firmly planted on the ground!

If he is born a week early, he will be an Aries:
The Rambo of the play group has arrived! With an Aries baby around, you can expect lots of action and activity in your midst. Don't expect this tot to sit still with a rattle -- it just won't happen. The Aries baby is one who makes a lot of noise and will definitely be heard. There's really no choice! As a Fire sign, the little Ram will be dynamic and always up to something. Will this be a tough baby to deal with? More than likely. To that end, parents would be wise to show this child how to work with other babies early on. Things such as sharing won't come naturally, they must be learned. Even where siblings are concerned, the Aries child won't be a walk in the park. What the Aries baby may want most of all, however, is attention, so parents be well advised. In a play setting, the Aries tot will easily get the attention of others on their own. This baby will also start many things early, the better to get to the finish line, so to speak, in a hurry. To sum up, the Arian baby can be quite independent but enjoys interacting with others. This baby is a fairly physical child and craves constant stimulation. They will be ready from day one!

Ok... hello. I am hoping Brady comes right on time! I don't think I want a Rambo, not sharing child for my very first. Maybe on my 3rd when I have the hang of it? Maybe?

Not like I'm any better, geesh, I'm a Gemini.

What is your horoscope? Are you similar to your sign?