Wednesday, July 23, 2008


Dear Eyeglass place,

I would appreciate, if when you tell a customer your hot new Fendi glasses will be ready by Mon (yeah, the one that has already passed) that my glasses might actually be IN your office by that date. Not... to have me call and then tell me I am blind so my prescription will take 10 days because I had to order the super thin lenses. Kthxbye!
Dear hair,

If you could behave and look somewhat normal, that would make me happy. I don't care if you want to be curly OR straight, I would just really like for you to be looking cute. I just dyed you and the color looks great, so if the style could follow, that would be nice. Kthxbye!
Dear pants, skirts and shorts in my closet,

I understand I used to be small and my hips non-existant, however, I just had a child (like 3 months ago) and I know you have some damn spandex in you, so if you could stretch to fit over these new found hips and not hug my ass to give me the biggest wedge ever, I would greatly appreciate it. Kthxbye!
Dear Mineral Makeup,

Not quite sure if I like you yet. I understand you give a clean finish, but I am used to liquid foundation, so I am not sure you give me the coverage I need. I AM giving you one week, but you better shape up... quickly, because I want my face to look natural, not like I am not wearing makeup. Kthxbye!

Any dear's you would like to add?


Lindsay said...

Dear Blocked Caller ID Guy,
Not sure why you keep calling me about my dresses, that I listed on craigslist, that I erased after your first freaky phone call. Wanting to get one as a surprise for your girlfriend
(prob non-exsistant). Asked if the top was big b/c she's busty! Said you worked @ the Galleria @ Victoria's Secret as a manager.Wanted to trade lingerie and purfume for my 300-400$ dresses. I don't work there...never have!!!Yet,Stupid me listed my phone #, so he has it now! Just kind of freaked out by this. Glad I could vent! Kthxbye!!

Hot Mamma said...

Ok I undestand the jean thing although I had a baby 7.5 years ago. And the mineral makeup, give it time, it's hard to get used to but once you do, it's fabulous. I use it.

Here's mine:

Dear Buyers,
The Real Estate market sucks, have patience and don't take it out on me. I'm doing everything I can and you're being rediculous.

Katelin said...

i understand the jeans thing too and i haven't even had a kid, oy vey!

but alas
dear gym,
please work with me. okay?

Michelle said...

Dear Prego sickness,
Could you please stop making me feel pukey ALL OF THE TIME. Pick one, morning, day or night and stick with it. You can't have all three. KTHKSBYE.

Kristen said...

dear baby:

please kick some more since it makes me know you're doing okay in my tummy.

dear andrea:

i will be in your shoes soon, trying on pre-pregnancy clothes, so i feel your pain. oh, and i love my mineral makeup. i hope you like your's.

Anonymous said...

yay, how fun!

Dear one chunk of my hair that refuses to hold curl,

Please stop doing that. I know you're just trying to be different and independent, but you really annoy me. When every other part of my hair curls like it should and you don't you make me look like an idiot. I would cut you off if I didn't think that a bald patch would look worse.


Julie Q said...

i SO cannot make that switch to mineral foundation.. I'd feel naked without a lil liquid foundation on!! let me know how it works for you :)

Kelli said...

Oh do NOT even get me started! I could write a Dear Kelli's 9 month pregnant body that would last all day!