I Marvel

I marvel at the thought of where my life is and where it used to be...

We wake at 5 AM (oh yeah, you read that right - people without kids, LOVE that 7 AM alarm clock :D) we eat at 7:30, we take a nap, we get out of the house, do some dishes, do some laundry, finally hit the sack and yes... wake up and do it all again the next day.

The thing is, I just love it. It is an indescribable love. It is not like I love doing stuff around the house, but it is the fact that this IS my job.

Sometimes, I look around and get a little jealous that I can't re-decorate my house b/c we no longer have 2 incomes, but really, who needs that stuff. I have a roof, a tivo and great friends and family. Pretty much I'm good.

I saw this book the other day that said, Nap Time is the New Happy Hour, and I just burst out laughing. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. Flat shoes, hair a wreck, spit-up on my shoulder, and glasses askew. Then I looked at my little man and Poof! I didn't care.

I look back at myself and I used to be so vain, so "involved" with my image. Now, I could give a rats ass. My priority is clean diapers, a clean house, a happy hubs and good nights rest.

It is just so bizarre how in mere seconds your life can go from "what can I do for myself today" to "how can I help that little person today."

I remember lying in the hospital bed, pale as a ghost, shaking uncontrollably, and only worrying about feeding my little man. It is like God switches a flip in your head and says, YOU no longer count (as much), that little thing you just spent 9 hours (or 2o minutes in my case) popping out, is your new world.

Now I know how mothers get so wrapped up in their children it takes over their lives. I used to think that about people. But, truthfully, maybe they have so much love, so much bursting-at-the-seams-love, that they just want to talk about it with everyone they come in contact with?

Sometimes, I just have to sit back and marvel at where I was and where I am.

Hmmm....